What's Wrong With Being Confident?

If someone asks you how you're so confident all the time, it's almost like asking you why you believe in yourself. So really, it's a pretty stupid question.

Confidence is something most people lack and like it or not, this has to do with the society we've come to live in. Yes, I'm well aware of the thousands of campaigns that are all about positive body image and self empowerment and I love that. However, no matter how much you don't want it to be there, the dark side of society remains. 

This 'dark side' is where the seeds of self-doubt in our minds come from. If you smile whilst others in the world are suffering, you're ignorant and self conceded. If you're down about anything, no matter how big or small, you're ungrateful to what you have that others don't. We're constantly playing a game we can't win.

Friendly Reminder: Just because someone has it worse, doesn't make your problems any less significant. Additionally, just because other people out there don't have as much to be happy about, doesn't mean you shouldn't feel good about yourself without feeling guilty afterwards. 

However, that's just one example of many flaws society says we have. If we post a selfie a week on Instagram we're vain. If we post a picture of us playing in autumn leaves this year, we're a cliche. If we tweet or write a status about a controversial topic everyone is discussing, we have no originality. Blah blah blah. I could go on forever.

These ideals society promotes are almost always a double-edged sword. They tell us to believe in our own opinions no matter how different they are or how many people disagree with us and next minute, we're being shot down for doing exactly that: 'Why do you have to voice your opinion like that? Others might find that offensive. Respect other people's opinions.'

Yes. You were definitely trying to offend people and disrespect their ideas just by voicing your own. (sarcasm noted.)

News Flash: Someone will always take offence to what you say or think. Someone will always feel disrespected without you intentionally wanting them to feel that way. It's a way of life and you deal with it. 

You are who you are and that's nothing to be ashamed of. Confidence comes from accepting that it's okay if people don't agree with you or make judgements about your personality without getting to know you. That's their problem.

I know what you're thinking: 'Isn't this telling us to love ourselves regardless of what others say like society already tells us to do?'

Yes, it is. However there's more to having confidence because there are two sides to it. There's the part where you are victim to self doubt like we've just discussed and then you have arrogance. That's a whole other ball park.

Some people will take it too far in the other direction and run their mouths without a care. I'm not saying that's entirely a bad thing but it can give you a small case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. Yes, it's perfectly okay to stick to what you believe in but when you disregard people's feelings and reactions to what you have to say completely, it gets messy.

If someone says they'd rather stay in Saturday nights because they enjoy something more low-key, who are you to contradict that? Everyone has their own boundaries and you have to respect that. You can say that you prefer Saturday nights out but don't go so far as to mock the other person for their lifestyle. It doesn't affect you personally so you don't have any right to make them feel smaller because of your differences. 

Remember the part about society shooting you down for doing something they promoted in the first place? Well if you're going around contradicting people for not believing in what you think is right, you're a perfect example of that. Stop it!

The most common definition of confidence is being proud of who you are. However, it's also about being proud enough of other people and who they are to not out them down for any differences they may have. The dictionary won't teach you that!

Have confidence not only in yourself but in others around you too and you'll ace it!



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