The Relationship Post

Jameela Jamil via company.co.uk | R&J via Google Images

In Jameela's column in the August 2014 issue of Company magazine she asks: "When is too soon to say I love you?" If you were to ask any passerby in the street or in fact each member of your own friendship group, the opinions would differ widely. Our own past and present experiences helped form this opinion, and of course no two lives are the same.

As a hopeless romantic myself I like to toy with the idea of love at first sight and even love lasting forever. As a child of divorced parents I am also somewhat sceptical.

How much weight do you place on those three words? I am forever declaring my love for a lipstick or a chocolate bar... So why is it harder with a partner? Is it only because they have the ability to reply? Has fear of rejection rendered you speechless? 

In Moulin Rouge and Romeo and Juliet the star crossed lovers are very quick to fall in love and profess it, but is all that just movie magic? Can you really fall so madly in love that you would risk your life just to be together?

In my own romantic history I have had boys wait a month before dropping the L Bomb all the way to never saying it all (commitmentphobes are a tough cookie to crack). This all lead to my own love revolution where I decided that I would not settle for someone who wasn't sure whether I was worthy of I Love You. I deserved someone who was assertive in their decision and didn't go back on it; what I deemed a 'real man'. For of course a real man is in touch with his emotions and knows when to show them (I cry enough for the both of us).

As a woman I am accused of having unrealistic expectations of men and I am not one for a 10 point checklist for the perfect man, but now I am entering my twenties I don't want to be wasting my time with lesser beings. So you need to decide your compromises: what things about a future partner are you prepared to overlook? Age? Height? Career? The handsome prince you've been waiting for will come, just maybe in a different package... You don't want him to pass you by just because he had brown hair when you wanted blonde and blue eyes.

Once you have the man and you are sure of him then what is stopping you from taking things further? Would you rather he started things off or maybe you're waiting for a romantic moment? I say free your inner independent woman and dive in head first! How amazing will it be to hear the words you've been longing to hear? I know they might not say them back but that will stop you from wasting your time. I've made myself miserable wondering when it's going to happen. So keep the happy moment happy and say it when it feels right.

There's your answer Jameela; it's never too soon. If it feels right to say it on date number two then why not if you think they feel the same way?! The only thing which holds you back is the fear of the unknown and maybe even fear of what others might think. Truthfully they will all be admiring your courage and feeling a little jealous because it's still just them and their cat. All lives are different and all relationships are different. Work on it so that both parties are feeling comfortable and happy. Hopefully love will bloom in it's own time. 

Embrace the happiness and feel the love! 

Do you think you can be too quick to fall in love?